我不喜欢骂人，因为我动手能力比较强。
I don like swearing because Im good atpractice.
看了半个多小时的英语，我发现，这些单词好像都不喜欢我。
After reading English for more than half an hour, I found that none of these words seemed to like me.
年轻的时候还是尽量不要早恋，过早知道自己缺乏魅力，又丑又矮，影响学习。
When you are young, you should try not to fall in love early, knowing that you are short and ugly, which affects your study.
最烦别人跟我说，西游记都看过无数遍了，可以倒背如流了，你这么厉害，那你告诉我，唐僧念的紧箍咒内容是啥？
I hate to be told that he has watched the journey tothe West countless times and known it thoroughly. If you are so powerful, please tell me what is the spell of Tang Monk.
有人知道怎么追处女座的吗？知道的话追我一下，谢谢！
Do you know how to pursue Virgo? If so, please pursue me. Thank you!
每个月总有那么几张毛爷爷，他的脸色由红变绿，由绿变黄，接着变蓝，再变紫，再变青，最后离我而去。
Every month there are always a few bills. His face changes from red to green, from green to yellow, then blue, purple, cyan, finally left me.
大学里每天都发生这样的鬼故事，一个人指着一个空位问旁边的同学：“同学，请问这有人吗?”
Every day in the University, there is such a ghost story. A man points to a vacancy and asks a classmate next to it:"Hello, is there anyone here?"
遇到不讲理的人，但凡能用白眼回应的，就不要给他说话的机会。
Don give unreasonable people a chance to talk if you can respond by rolling your eyes at him.
太阳真是个大笑脸，一出现，世界就亮了。
The sun is such a big smile. As soon as it appears, the world will be bright.
图源来自网络，侵权立删，谢谢！
