In the face of misfortune
当我们面对不幸
……
Suffering, we can’t avoid it no matter how hard we tried. Betweenthe poor, homeless and sick, suffering is all around us. We like to think we take it in stride, but how do we really react to it?贫穷、流浪、疾病，不幸无处不在。我们总认为面对不幸我们能泰然处之，但事实上我们究竟是如何应对的呢？
If you saw an older man shivering on a curb with only a thin blanket and old clothing, you are likely to feel bad but you’d keep walking. We all feel the pain of seeing this older gentleman looking as though he might not make this night, but seldom do we stop and do anything. Our reactions are what make us who we are, both individually and as a species.如果你看到一个老人在路边瑟瑟发抖，身上仅有一条单薄的毯子，衣衫褴褛，你很有可能会感到难过，但你依旧会走开。我们都会在看到这个老人的时候感到痛楚，认为他可能熬不过这个晚上了，但我们很少会停下来帮忙。我们的行为决定我们的本质。无论从个人角度还是站在整个种族的立场，这一点都是成立的。
Naturally, mankind is sympathetic to the pain and suffering of others. Psychologist Edward Kitchener translated the German word “Einfüllung” meaning “feeling into”, into English in 1909, turning it to the word most of us know today as empathy. However, feeling bad for something is not empathy, though most people think so. The feelings we get are instead a mixture of other emotions. What’s the interpretation of some of these emotions?人类天生就会同情他们的不幸和苦难。1909年，心理学家爱德华基奇纳将德语单词“Einfüllung”翻译为英语，意为“感情植入”，也就是今天我们众所周知的“共情”。然而，和大众理解的不同，替某人感到难过并不是共情。我们所感受的情感实际上是很多情绪的集合。那么该如何细分这样的一些情绪呢？
01
Pityis often distress, discomfort and overall sadness when witnessing someone else’s misery. If you were to see someone yelling at their significant other, you will most likely feel sorry for them, and look on for a few seconds before moving on. Pity is the acknowledgment of another’s pain, and that you feel bad for them, but pity doesn’t go beyond this. Like-bait is another example of pity, where someone online posts a picture or video to make their viewer feel bad, by the end of which it says “like, repost, reblog, retweet, share if you understand X’s pain and want to help”. Of course, a like won’t help their suffering, it’s just helping the poster by giving them likes on something they posted.
怜悯往往表现为苦恼、不适，总的来讲就是在看到别人的不幸时感到伤心。如果你看到某个人对着ta的恋人大吼大叫，你很可能会为他俩感到难过，注视一会儿，然后离去。怜悯即是能意识到别人的痛苦，是你为他们感到伤心。但仅止于此。求赞帖就是怜悯的另一个例子。某人在网上发了个照片或者视频来激起观众的难过，然后在最后写道“如果你能够理解某某某的痛苦并想要帮忙的话，请点赞、转发、分享”。当然了，点个赞其实对当事人的不幸没有什么帮助，这只能帮po主赢得一点人气罢了。
02
Sympathyis the physical display of pity, and hoping that person will be relieved of that pain or suffering. It’s caring about the well-being of somebody without personally knowing the struggle. You try to understand by putting yourself in their shoes.
同情是实际表现出来的怜悯，是希望那个人可以减轻痛苦。虽然没有亲身经历对方的难处，但关心对方的幸福——这即是同情。你试着通过设身处地地为他们着想来理解他们。
03
Empathyis both caring and personally knowing whatever struggle the other person is going through. Remember, personally knowing is not always paired with caring, which means it’s not true empathy. This is evident in psychopaths. You have to have personal experience and care in order to empathize.
共情是在亲身经历过他人所处的不幸后，对对方的关心。需要注意的是，亲身经历过不代表一定会关心，也就是说，仅有亲身经历并不是真正的共情。反社会人格就是这样的。你需要有亲身的体验并同时关心对方才能够构成共情。
04
Compassionis either empathy or sympathy, paired with a desire to relieve that person of their pain. With compassion, you actively seek a solution. You do something with sympathy or empathy rather than just walking away.
慈悲可以是共情也可以是同情，再加上一份想要帮助他人减轻痛苦的愿望。有了慈悲，你会积极寻求一个解决方案，出于同情或共情去做些实事，而不是一走了之。
05
It must be noted thataltruismis very different from empathy, sympathy, pity and compassion. When someone acts altruistically, they are acting on the basis that it is the right thing to do, not because they feel bad. Altruism can be detached and emotionless, as it’s not buried in personal emotions, only in doing the perceived right thing. One way that altruism can backfire is being ignorant of pain, not understanding the problem, but trying to fix it anyway. A good example of this is replacing a child’s old broken toy that holds memories because you believe it’s the right thing to do. However, by replacing the toy, you are tossing out all the memories that have attached to that toy.
值得一提的是，利他主义和共情、同情、怜悯以及慈悲是很不同的。当一个人出于利他主义行动时他们只是认为这样做是正确的，而不是因为其内心的感受。利他主义有时候甚至是冷漠的，因为它并不包含个人的感情，他们仅仅是在做自己认为正确的事情而已。利他主义有时可能会适得其反的一种情况是忽视痛苦、不去理解问题，却不管怎样都想要去解决它。关于这一点有一个很好的例子，比如你在自己认为正确的时候换掉了小孩子承载着许多回忆的旧玩具。但是，虽然有了一个新玩具，你同时也扔了所有承载在那个玩具上的记忆。
So, if you were to see that same old man shivering, what would your reaction be? Pity? Sympathy? Empathy? Would you give him another blanket out of altruism or out of compassion?那么，如果你看到了那个瑟瑟发抖的老人你会作何反应？怜悯？同情？共情？还是出于利他主义或是慈悲给他一条毯子？
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参考资料：psych2go中文站
图片来源：百度
文案：郑海澜
播音：何菡淼
排版：朱纯璐
审校：杨玉婉
