我知道我的努力有一大半是没有用的，但是我却不知道究竟是哪一半。
I know that most of my efforts are useless, but I don know which half.
有时候觉得自己变丑了，美颜一开，是我多虑了，有时候觉得自己还年轻，拿出身份证一看，我清醒了。
Sometimes I think Ive become ugly. When I open my beauty, I worry too much. Sometimes I think Im still young. When I take out my ID card, I wake up.
承诺就像女人说要减肥一样，经常说却很难做到，一切都是假的话。
Commitment is like women saying they want to lose weight, but it is often difficult to do. Everything is false.
手指粗的姑娘别难过，以后男朋友送的金戒指都大一圈呢
Don be sad, girl with thick fingers. In the future, the gold rings given by her boyfriend will be a big circle
我有八十多种小辣条，现在考虑跟我做朋友还来得及。
I have more than 80 kinds of spicy strips. Its still time to consider making friends with me.
有人向我表白，我该怎么拒绝他，才能把伤害降到最低？神回复：就说回家先征求一下孩子的意见。
Someone confessed to me, how can I refuse him in order to minimize the harm? God replied: go home and ask the childs advice first.
什么是苦中作乐？吃着苦瓜，想着西瓜，不亦乐乎。
What is pleasure in pain? Its fun to eat balsam pear and think of watermelon.
地铁上的广告：挤吗？买辆车吧！出租车上的广告：堵吗？坐地铁吧！
Advertisement on the subway: crowded? Buy a car! Advertisement on Taxi: is it blocked? Take the subway!
喜欢一个人 一定要表白 不要有遗憾 不然连对方用什么方式拒绝你 你都不知道
If you like a person, you must confess that you don have regrets, otherwise you don even know how the other party rejects you
晚自习的时候考试，拿出手机搜答案，突然，老师把灯一关，我……亮了。
During the self-study in the evening, I took out my mobile phone to search for answers. Suddenly, the teacher turned off the light and I... lit up.
矛盾的心态，就像是抓奸，抓不着不甘心，抓到了又要痛心。
The contradictory mentality is like catching a traitor. If you can catch it, you will feel sad if you catch it.
前女友要结婚了，打电话问我去不去，我果断回了她三个字：下次去。
My ex girlfriend was getting married. She called me and asked me whether I would go or not. I decided to return her three words: go next time.
下雨天就适合在家睡觉，晴天就适合出门走走，漫长岁月，居然没有一天适合上班。
Rainy days are suitable for sleeping at home, sunny days are suitable for going out for a walk. For a long time, there is no day suitable for work.
我的生活可以用9个字概括，随薪所欲，薪尽自然凉。
My life can be summed up in nine words. As I want with my salary, my salary is naturally cool.
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