我没有什么特色，就是人特色！
I don have any characteristics. Im just a little indecent!
你知道经常吃辣条，喝奶茶的人脸上会有什么吗？笑容！
Do you know what is on the face of people who often eat spicy gluten and drink milk tea? Smile!
如果你能猜到硬币在哪只手里，我就帮你找个对象！千手观音这么对我说。
If you can guess which hand the coin is in, Iwill help you find a partner! Avalokitesvara said to me.
年纪大了都不敢用萌娃当头像了，怕别人以为是我生的。
Now Im too old to use a cute baby as a profile picture. Im afraid others think its my baby.
当一个女孩子跟你说她好饿怎么办？想都不用想？我们只需要体贴的给她来一句：“你是不是吃不起饭？”
When a girl tells you that she is hungry, what should you do? you don need to think about it,You just need to say to her considerately:"can you afford to eat?"
爸妈吵架，我妈拿起一瓶毒药水对我爸说，今天我要让你尝尝失去亲人的滋味，说完就往我嘴里灌。
My parents quarreled, my mother picked up a bottle of poison and said to my father, today, Im going to give you a taste of the loss of your loved ones and then pour it into my mouth.
每次逗小孩都提心吊胆的，万一小孩没笑，感觉自己杵在那就像个弱智。
Every time I tease a child, Im afraid. In case the child doesn smile, I feel like a retarded person.
听说镜子中的自己要比本人好看50倍，我咣啷一声就把镜子砸了，比我美的都得死！
I heard that Im 50 times more beautiful inthe mirror than Im. I smashed the mirror immediately, because those who are more beautiful than me have to die.
图源来自网络，侵权立删！谢谢
